Friday, 18 June 2010

Popped In To Ponder

"Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?"

Wonder why me gadget threw that one up? Apart from having stacks of  boxes containing Christmas decorations, with nowhere to store ‘em, I aint seen any sign of a yuletide approaching on the outside of me lofty retreat.

Oops... there's the door bell.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Nosey Bitch

I found the perfect place to be nosey... The place just echoes voices, and no one can see me, up here, hidden in the steel and concrete.

As a writer, I love to " People Watch", but concede that many a man would say I was a nosey bitch.

"You have that affect on me an' all. And I got a bad knee as well!"

If I can't find a story to slot that piece of dialogue into one day, then Heaven help me to get a life.

How Do You Know?

Not so long back, a young lady asked me: "how do you know when you find, The One?"

"The One" what? I could have played it dumb, but I knew exactly what she was talking about - the “Mister Right” thingy.

Pah, humbug, why me? Another kick below the time belt for this middle aged baby boomer who has conceded defeat in the relationship wars and given up on a dream of a biological offspring tax credit!

Now, just because I’ve disengaged a legal relationship doesn’t mean I’m an instant access, dummies guide to love, lust, and wot not to marry. On this occasion, and for the sake of man kind, I put aside my mangled and mutilated self esteem in favour of a philosophical approach. You see, if you’ve done time with a willing and almost able partner of some description, or other, you don’t always know if, in my experience, he is a Mr Right-Now, Right-for-Ever, or Right-With-A-Lot-Of-Patience-And-Persistence.

For me, Mr Right-Let’s-Just-Coast-Along-Because-You-Can’t-Do-Any-Better-Than-Me, assumed marital bliss was a matter of rituals, routine, solitary pursuits, and… erm… best not go any further, here.

What I have discovered, inadvertently, is that when you meet a “love of your life”, you’ll know it. When it happens, you don’t have to ask anyone if it’s right. There’s that little voice, deep inside, hammering away on your heart so hard, you just can’t ignore it. The reason I know that is because I’ve had that hammering on my heart for sometime, now, and it just won’t go away. You see at the time Mister Drop-Dead-Gorgeous paid me a compliment my self esteem was at an all time low, despite the face I put on for the world. Of course I fancied the snug fitting pants off him, but my ill advised logic insisted I wasn’t good enough. He left me sitting there, shocked into silence, desperately sad and alone in life. He just walked away as easy as he walked in through the door. Maybe I should have noted his middle name: Doesn’t-Try-Hard-Enough. Anyhow, there has been contact since, but it’s as though nothing ever happened. Still, he managed to get his leg over using a hard copy of the same chat up line he used with me… How do I know, I hear you mumble? Cos his huntress had great delight in telling me about her "anonymous" gift!

I guess love isn’t always mutual when it comes to the different levels of affection and tangled emotions. A lovely, yet cantankerous, man once told me he loved me. In fact, it was the last thing he ever said to me, and in front of witnesses, too. On a number of occasions, I had made it crystal clear, that there was no way in hell there would be anything between us. Maybe I should have been more blunt and told him who had won my heart, but alas, I couldn’t do that to him. You see, that lovely man was someone I would have liked to have called a friend, but some guys yer just can’t be friends with, and he was one of them. He gave me some good advice, once, too. Which I ignored! Yep, in some situations guys are all the same, be careful of fists flying…

So, it seems that for some of us, the love of a good partner for sharing the most intimate moments in life is a treasure that can be hard to find. Sometimes we think we’ve found our heart’s desires only to discover that it was no more than an optical illusion, with the passage of time eroding the rough edges of attraction.

The only thing I can say, for sure, is that spending half a lifetime with the wrong man is toxic on the soul. People DO change, over the years, but not in the way you expect. The bad habits they give up, or hide, WILL come back the minute they think they have you in your place, and they won’t be so endearing when there’s no affection tendered.

So if yer heart is lying dormant and someone shakes it up, don’t think you’re not worth it, cos you are… Love is a magical gift, to give and receive. Find it, enjoy it; don’t lose it.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

A Flexitarian Approach

As a flexitarian, Spiritualist and great believer in civil liberties, I feel I should point out that my beliefs are not just a matter of convenience, but a right to remain an individual in an ever changing world. A bit liberal to some, but I don’t really care much for politics. I am who I am and I won’t be branded.

If you’re wondering what a flexitarian is, it’s my adoptive approach to being what I eat. You read it here, first, folks. That’s my word, a J.J. Cocker original, and don’t forget it! Being a human being, with canine teeth, I enjoy a variety of animal and vegetable matter in my diet; preferring products that have been reared and grown to as many ethical standards as possible. I don’t have to eat meat every day, or even every week, and Soya substitutes are a great alternative to mechanically recovered, unmentionable, animal slurry. It can be a pretty tough job balancing the conflicting choices between local, fair-trade, organic, free range, healthy, and environmentally friendly products, but I happen to think its well worth the effort.

My faith, as a Spiritualist, has helped me get through the worst time of my life, without instruction, guilt, or condemnation, and allowed me to close the door on an empty and fruitless existence. I have stood up against an ex-husband who thought I was worth nothing, and walked out on a corporation who thought they could, and still do, bully employees into accepting a global philosophy where one size WILL fit all, no matter what area of business, or the people and places involved.

In my humble opinion, every human being deserves the right to retain their own intellect and live a fulfilling life of their own making. It would also be nice if the big companies who bang on about diversity training start to appreciate the diversity in each and every one of us.

At long last, I am free to be me, and mistress of my own destiny.

Friday, 4 June 2010

Summit Original

If I could find it, I'd climb it.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Comedy Night in Leeds - 10 June

Here's summit fer entertainment purposes only:

Just seen this poster, and couldn't believe it... Well I could. A woman comic supporting the guys. Go Sarah... whoop, whoop... Wish I could be there, but I can't.